What Not To Say In Meetings

  • I’m surprised I even made it in today,
    considering that I was up until 3:00 AM last night writing my manifesto.
  • Did you hear the one about the horny squirrel?
  • Team building MY ASS. You’re all going down.
  • For this portion of my presentation, I will be
    rapping. I am very very G.
  • If you smelt it, you dealt it.
  • Sorry I’m late. Hacking took way longer than I
    expected.
  • What should I have for lunch? Merlot or Pino
    Grigio?
  • And now we will move on to page 2 of this 107
    page PowerPoint presentation.
  • Oh man. You’ll have to excuse me. I just got
    back from therapy and turns out I’m kind of homicidal.
  • Do you think I’m sexy?
  • Does my butt look big in these khakis?
  • This is where you applaud, people.
  • Excuse me while I enjoy my kimchee in this tiny
    conference room.
  • That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in
    all my life. I don’t know how you have the brain power to breathe. Sir.
  • I am SO FULL. Excuse me while I unbuckle my belt.
  • I’m sorry, but I simply cannot take on that
    project. It will cut into my sitting in front of the TV eating tortilla chips
    and salsa time.
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dear God, NOOOOOOOOOO!
  • What will you give me if I can hit her head with
    this pen from here?
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This entry was posted in Random Lists, Work and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What Not To Say In Meetings

  1. Pingback: Excuses you should never use to get out of work « A Blog About This and That

  2. toolies says:

    AWESOME Bri! Love it.

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