Getting Crafty with Joolie

Friends, family, cohorts, strangers, drivers of getaway cars, makers of popsicles, and other odds and ends, I need your help. Though you might not know this about me, I am one badass crafty mother… (shut your mouth). My next pursuit will be the timeless and grandma-like fine art of cross-stitching. But, what to stitch? Whatever gets the most votes in the comments below this post will be the winner.

Here is a list of potential cross-stitch phrases – and it goes without saying that there will be hearts and flowers and butterflies surrounding any one of these phrases in the finished product. So, which is the best one?

Note: I hijacked some of these phrases, but honey badger don’t care.

  1. I heart space rocks
  2. No speaka the yap yap
  3. Meh
  4. The cake is a liar
  5. Feels good to be a gangsta
  6. Annoying
  7. I hate fun
  8. Let’s talk about my feelings
  9. Bootysaurus
  10. Unstable and irritable
  11. You had me at health insurance
  12. You are a smelly pirate hooker
  13. Why don’t you go back to your home on whore island
  14.  FUBAR
  15.  Weak sauce
  16.  Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you asshole
  17.  Hot Bananas
  18.  Seriously?
  19.  Making stuff happen since 1974
  20.  Booo fucking hooo
  21.  I shaved my legs for this?
  22.  Beauty is but a light switch away
  23.  I would rather not.
  24.  Be nice or leave
  25.  Kitties
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18 Responses to Getting Crafty with Joolie

  1. Jrod says:

    #12 (but add the word “particularly”), it belongs on a pillow

  2. Amy says:

    I would like to offer a new one “You climb rocks like a dying flower.” Might not be the exact quote, but deserves its own frame.

  3. Bill says:

    How about “I’d hit that.”

  4. briandalion says:

    26

  5. tochristine says:

    seriously tough choice but I vote for “Beauty is but a light switch away” 🙂

  6. I think 10.Unstable and irritable will be made all the more special by adding hearts, flowers and butterflies to it. Makes you really sense the instability lol

  7. kristen says:

    I have to throw my weight behind ‘whore island’.

  8. Debbie says:

    First I gotta say this is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. Thanks for the laugh! Now as an amateur crafter, I know you can’t limit this awesomeness to just one. So my votes are “gangsta” as a throw pillow because every couch needs that! “You had me…” hung in your bedroom- still laughing over this one. The perfect office accessory is a framed “Making stuff happen…”. Last but not least, “Be nice” in the living area. On a side note, I may just steal some or all of these ideas for my own house. Just as soon as I learn how to cross stitch. Genious!

  9. Debbie says:

    Whoops- I fat fingered that. Genius!

  10. Dan says:

    I would love to envision you quietly stitching in your living room on a stormy, Pacific Northwest Sunday afternoon — whilst the children play nearby, and the pugs rest contentedly near your feet. “Momma,” the children would say in unison, each looking at you with such love and admiration in their eyes. “Yes?” you’d say. “What are you doing, momma?” After a measured pause, and another sip of Chamomile, you’d give a big smile and say, “Oh, just this.” And you’d show them your most recent creation. And then they’d say, “Where is whore island?”

  11. toolies says:

    What a peaceful and educational afternoon that would be.

  12. Jenny says:

    My first choice, by far, is “No speaka the yap yap.” By far. Mind you, many of the others also made me laugh, but the yap yap wins.

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