Category Archives: Random Lists

Super Literate

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That’s What Joolie Said 5

We’re taking a small trip back to our roots. Here are some recent Toolies texts: I don’t want to do anything that involves eye contact or sitting upright right now. Elastic waistband optional. I can’t stop thinking about pancakes. DO … Continue reading

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Important Life Lessons

  When you enter a party and find something unexpected there, count to 10 before you speak. If a guy wears pants that are way too tight, don’t befriend him—you won’t be able to get past it. Don’t make ironic/kitschy … Continue reading

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Getting Crafty with Joolie

Friends, family, cohorts, strangers, drivers of getaway cars, makers of popsicles, and other odds and ends, I need your help. Though you might not know this about me, I am one badass crafty mother… (shut your mouth). My next pursuit … Continue reading

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What Not To Say In Meetings

I’m surprised I even made it in today, considering that I was up until 3:00 AM last night writing my manifesto. Did you hear the one about the horny squirrel? Team building MY ASS. You’re all going down. For this … Continue reading

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That’s What Joolie Said 2

A collection of late night often Ambien-induced texts Well, the Ambien is no more. It was an experiment gone terribly awry. We will miss Ambien Joolie (or AJ, as she was known in certain circles). Luckily, there is a legacy … Continue reading

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That’s What Joolie Said

Some doctor decided to prescribe Ambien to Joolie to help her sleep. The woman has been a known insomniac since birth.  She also has (let me say this gently) a freaking abnormally sensitive system when it comes to chemical substances.  Believe … Continue reading

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